Spiritual Styles in Children

I've alluded to this topic before, but never written a post devoted exclusively to it. So here goes . . .

The field of children's spirituality is producing some fascinating new research. Last year, I read a book by David Csinos, Children's Ministry that Fits, that has profoundly affected how I seek to mentor children on their spiritual journey. 

It seems that children, like adults, have preferred "styles" or avenues of connecting with God. Csinos identifies four of these in his book:

1. Word-based: Children who express their spirituality best in words. They like to verbally process what they are thinking, love learning Bible verses, respond to stories and mini-sermonettes.

2. Emotion-based: These children connect with God through their feelings. Music and the arts help them to do this. Laughing, crying and outward expression of emotions are important to their spiritual expressions.

3. Symbol-oriented: These children love the mystery involved with worship. They love to stare at candles and figure out what things on the walls of churches mean.

4. Action-oriented: Children who want to do something for and with God. They are the movers and shakers who want to feed the homeless, do trash pick-up, and raise money for a good cause.

Perhaps there are even more spiritual styles in children and I would add to the list:

 - Nature-oriented: I have encountered several children who feel closest God when surrounded by His creation.

I think it is important to recognize that children are diverse individuals. What helps one child connect with God may not work for the next. And sometimes children grow up feeling like they don't fit it at church, because the church speaks mainly to one or two styles.

Learning about all of this has convinced me even more of concepts like Godly Play and Catechesis of the Good Shepherd. These types of spiritual mentoring are holistic and address more than one style. They can also help a child learn to worship in ways that are not geared toward their main style.

Are you aware of or able to discern the spiritual styles in the children you mentor? How do you meet diverse needs within your group?

Great Link: Children and Social Justice

I just read a wonderful article by David Csinos, the author of Children's Ministry that Fits, and Brian McClaren about involving children in social justice that I want to pass on to you. It's called:

Breaking the Bubble Wrap

The authors eloquently express a value that is very dear to me. Faith leads to action. Instead of locking our children in a golden tower to protect them, we can empower them to join God in renewing the world. We can show them that the world is not a scary place, but rather a place that is at times beautiful and at times fragile, hurting, and broken. A place that needs God. A place that needs his children to do his work in bringing lasting change. 

Please read and let me know your thoughts!

Response from David Csinos

Yesterday I wrote a post about Children's Ministry that Fits by David Csinos and shared the link with him on his blog, Such as These.  He wrote a thoughtful response my observation / question about his research excluding children from sacramental Christian traditions and shed some light on how this happened. Thought you might like to read it here!

Summer Reading Update: Children's Ministry that Fits

I'm slowly getting back into the rhythm of teaching school, so here is a new blog post about some of my summer reading!

Children's Ministry that Fits: Beyond One Size Fits All Approach to Nurturing Children's Spirituality by David Csinos has some good points that make it a worthwhile read for anyone involved in mentoring children on their spiritual journey.  The basic premise cuts right at the heart of what my husband terms the "Big Mac Gospel" approach to spiritual mentorship that has dominated many corners of Christianity in the western world for the last few decades.  That is, Christians have often sought to find a formula, an easily-digestable way to package the Gospel of Jesus Christ and mass distribute it. Despite good intentions, the Big Mac Gospel forces square pegs into round holes and doesn't leave much room for exploration of God outside of the "formula".  This philosophy has also played a large role in children's ministry.  (Lest I sound too judgemental, I have certainly been guilty of it as well!) Csinos' research seeks to show that children as well as adults have different spiritual styles or ways that they encounter God.  When our spiritual mentorship offers only one or two ways to relate to God, we run the risk of isolating children who relate to God in a different way and stunting their spiritual growth.  I also believe this is a reason why many children grow into young adults who then stop attending church.

Through focus groups with 13 children from three different faith communities, Csinos identifies four specific styles of spirituality in children: 1) Word-centered; 2) Emotion-centered; 3) Symbol-centered; and 4) Action-centered.  Many faith communities tend to lean heavily on one particular style and this can cause children (as well as adults) to intuitively sense that something is missing. Of the three churches that Csinos pooled from to do his research, only one of them seemed to have enough variety in its worship styles to be meeting the needs of the children.  This was a Presbyterian church that offered options from all four styles in the general life of the church.  The other churches, one that focused mainly on teaching and another that heavily emphasized contemporary worship music, seemed to leave their children lacking. As spiritual mentors, we are challenged to think beyond what inspires us personally and provide a broader spiritual spectrum to the children we pastor.

Another important point is that children have to be intricately involved in the life of the church and not tucked away into some corner for Sunday services.  For example, a child in one focus group that was action-centered found that her church's free meals to the homeless helped her feel particularly close to God.  Even though she was a child, she had been fully invited to be a part of this activity outside of Sunday morning worship and this made her feel valued as well as allowing her to engage her spiritual style.

My biggest criticism of the book lies in the limited choice of churches for the research.  Though Csinos identifies three dominant traditions in Christianity - sacramental, covenantal, conversional - he does not include children from sacramental traditions (Roman Catholic, Anglican or Orthodox) in his research.  I do not want to be too judgemental since I do not know his reasons for this, but I do wonder how having children from this tradition might have altered his research results.

The book also confirmed for me that concepts like Godly Play and Catechesis of the Good Shepherd are on the right track in providing children with healthy variety in how they help children to know the Father, Son and Holy Spirit without going in the direction of extreme individualism.

Have you read any good books on children's spirituality lately?